Friday, April 20, 2007

thumbs down for Palms Up

Christ, hands up those who triggered that this trio and a half were singing about jesus… Surreptitious propaganda is intensely distasteful. So is deluded delight. If you love god, say so (matisyahu does, it works for him), if youre using his bloodey son to get chicks (or to try to), say it. If you actually “really want to get some” then don't call it justified love. Lust like that just aint about right or wrong, boys. If you say it like it is, at least we know you mean it, rather than sort of saying what you think I should be thinking. Hello?

here's really why they don't get my praise. For all their talent (which is tight and right), they aren't pushing boundaries, they're pushing buttons. the wrong ones, ones that say Freedom, but when you push em, just underline a whole lot of underlying, dogmatic crap. They're adept instrumentalists, with no lack of (*ahem*) charisma (at least the short one letting us see his package with dark undies through white trousers doesn’t), but they play a pastiche of others’ sounds and they sound like no one at all, least of all themselves. What coud I say about Palms Up? erm, well, something like, "oh ja, them, they're nice. they sound a bit like jack johnson and bette midler and tristan and The honeymoon suites ..." - huh? - a bit of blues, borrow a pop riff, eeeyuck: it's a mess, not a melange. My one question for the sons of god : do you know who you are? Or are you just trying to get onto the radio?

get real boys, and find your own sound, you might discover you're worth it by our standards, not those sky high ones that flutter down to you through the pages of outdated dogma... and maybe you should start singing the songs you really want to write..


The good news is they aren't likely to hold down much more than a sweet faced, undemanding UCT crowd, and they can be fun topimp your pump and grind to if you don't really listen to their music.<erp> if kirstenbosch approves, they’ll be bashing their bibliospeak to more sedate audiences that don't ask much of live music. none of these is a compliment. (and nice is a four letter word, btw.)

p.s. to put paid to them prosyletizing on my time, i wrote them a prayer :

Father, I just want to ask you to really just bless those boys, father. Bring their brains out of their asses so that they can just make some real music, lord. We know, jesus, that you try hard to make them instruments of your glory, and they just find it hard to face up to that, heavenly father. Bless them, father, that they may not doubt the joy and love and lust that you have sewn in their hearts, that they will, just, jesus, just fill the room with music that they really want to play.



  1. very, very funny post.

    A lot of my all time favourite music is deeply devotional - 16 Horsepower, Leonard Cohen, Nick Cave, Blind boys of Alabama, but most Christian rock seems to fall flat.

    If you truly belive something and it inspires you there is no need to shove it down people's throats - the essence will come through in your music and be appreciated for what it is. I have always felt that a whispered threat is far more powerful than a screamed one.

  2. Yeeeeha! Yes Please! Could we have MORE reviews like this of local bands. The local scene needs it really badly...

  3. I agree, more frank and acerbic reviews required. This was funny.