Welcome the Foreigners!

Raise your glass. We’re being invaded and the war cry is "SHUT UP AND DANCE".

In a beautifully irreverent display of honesty and attitude, Alexei, Kelly and Junior (and Lewes and Martin and Vicky) make an art of making a noise all the way from the UK.

What do we know about Birmingham? Not much. It was once the seat of the industrial revolution but that’s hardly sexy in a post-ozone age. The scorched skies have cleared now and biotech is on its way to integrate everything the same way those pipes are on their way down the coast of endless Africa to put the broad into band - slowly.

Figuratively speaking, the broad is already IN the band if you’re talking Birmingham music. Birthplace of British blues, its backwaters were the amniotic food that gave us the Moody Blues. And while its canals are not quite flowing with red, red wine either, popular reggae rulers, UB40, probably took some notes on its dole, seeing as they lived (and looked for work) there. Birmingham was home also to the eminence of Judas Priest, the pale faces of Black Sabbath and 2 lads of Led Zeppelin. Think hair and hair raising melodies.

Then think haircut, and rousing melodies. The Brummies have been given a bit of a makeover since the internet was porn. I mean born. And would you believe the new export is “Melodramatic Popular Song”? At least, it is, according to Johnny Foreigner.

Visually they’re a doodle pad gone bonkers, aurally they’re a mix n match patchwork of punk pop and indie rock (insert comma @ will). It's noisy, but it’s nice. It’s silly, with spice. It’ll go well with crushes and ice, and some of their one-liners are pop cult slogans in disguise. They sound like The Killers on ketamine and The Artic Monkeys on mandrax arguing with instruments (and each other) in a mosh pit. Thing is, they're totally into it, making their music all the more (irritatingly) infectious.

In Europe, the pick-up line for a band that wants to put their album in your pants is “come over to MySpace”. Nobody does anything without a profile on the proud, buggy music host, because that’s where everybody meets – industry, public, other ( i suspect, somehow, thatJO Fo falls into all of those categories). Perhaps it’s because the brassy city hosts the largest international jazz fest in the UK, perhaps they just got bored with the long, dark winter, but we invited them to our space (you know, the ones with bare breasted women and wild beasts in the backyard) and they said yes. Of course they’ll get here before those pipes do; they’ve got Rams and Larks urging them on, ushering them in for their slot at Nekkies. And what better way to say there’s more to Cape Town (or South Africa, for that matter) than a number you’re not allowed to print for profit? Summer 2010 at thirty four degrees south this Saturday (and next Wednesday) is already exploding with the twisted glytchers and their giggly guitars. In fact, seeing as they came so far, they decided to do a national tour to learn how to eat pHutu with their hands and pronounce "kak" properly ("drop your jaw") while they teach us grace and the bigger picture.

While we're on the subject, how about a bit of name dropping? Their debut album, ‘Waited Up Till It Was Light’, was produced by Machine, who also worked with King Crimson.

You’ll sulk if you miss out. Besides a banging dose of brit junk pop, Kidofdoom, She Man Lion, Yesterday’s Pupil, Bruce Willis, Sassquatch and Moe Joe are going to be there. Also, bopping and hopping and getting all sweaty while you smile is a much sexier way to say happy valentine’s day than you think. (Sunday is the 14^th, and believe me, you’ll probably still be in the belly of the ass when the clock strikes mistletoe time.) (and this way it doesn’t matter if you don’t have someone to die for. Yet.)

Already busy that night? It's anyway going to be more fun next week in the 'bosch with Ashtray Electric, The Pretty Blue Guns, The Revelators, The Lottery Tickets, Bruce Willis, Sassquatch, El Gordo and the Fourie bros @ Klein Libertas (which is not actually so small). This gig is kissed with kismet. How do you know? Well, The Revelators cream a crowd, and The Guns already have a solution to any party problem which the Foreigners will probably agree with - 'all you got to do is .. dance.'

wherever you see them, buy them a drink, they’re human : lead vocalist and guitarist, Alexei, went to court in Birmingham a year ago exactly for unpaid Council Tax that had accumulated over 3 years.

What I like about Jo Fo : they’re gutsy (or garrulous) enough to post what must be one of the more desultory critical comments on http://www.myspace.com/johnnyforeigner. Hey, they probably came up with it themselves after one of their relatives reacted. And their album art suits their sound.

It’s true that : when the girl sings, it sounds like Avril with PMS.

It’s also true that : it’d sound more authentic in their own accent.

But : so what, jezebel? It’s the kind of party music that brings the background and the underground into the same shiny, happy space. Which is.. in your face.

13^th FEB – The Assembly, Cape Town www.webtickets.co.za/assembly - R80

dress code : bubblegum and wife beaters

bottom line : put on your uniform and face the music.

(and prove to our bipolar friends

that Africa is indeed teeming with wild life.)

tour deets for party peeps

13th FEB – Assembly - CAPE TOWN with Kidofdoom, yesterday’s Pupil, She Man Lion, Sassquatch, Bruce Willis and MoeJoe

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=307429286280&ref=mf

17th FEB – Klein Libertas – STELLENBOSCH with Ashtray Electric, The Pretty Blue Guns, The Revelators, The Lottery Tickets, Bruce Willis, Sassquatch and El Gordo

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=283796950201&ref=mf

19th FEB – Hotbox Studios – PRETORIA with Isochronous, Wrestlerish, Sticky Antlers, MoeJoe, Sassquatch, Nathan Scott Phillips and Kodiac

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=279017281239&ref=mf

20th FEB – DYNAMO JOFO ”Attack of the Electric Ghosts” - JOHANNESBURG with Desmond & The Tutus, Yesterday’s Pupil, Us Kids Know, Eyes Like Mirrors, Sassquatch, Data Takashi, MoeJoe, Nathan Scott Phillips, Kodiac and That Girl

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=256534772098&ref=mf

26th FEB - RAMFEST - MAIN STAGE - 21:00

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=80072657682&index=1

p.s. hospitality is high on the list of “clever things to do in life” because you never know when you’ll be mucking around in the UK trying to find work, friends, a home, a party, a scene…

Happy Pill

Kidofdoom has a modest, captive following. People who like star wars and joy. People who like their joy in dark pits. People whose pits are cool. They’ve cornered their compositions and developed a cult of grinning gargoyles and boys. Now they’ve come out with an extension to the theme. Concept album.

Ah. What is this ‘concept album’ ? fans of Bjork and Tori will know. Of Waits and Cave. A concept album is usually one whose mechanisms and intentions somebody has to explain to you. The songs are consciously connected to each other, sometimes self consciously (that’s a bad concept album. Use it in conversation. ‘oh, what, American Pie? Bad concept album’). But even that doesn’t explain it, because when are songs on an album not related? They’re made by (more or less) the same souls, with (mostly) a certain sonic thread running through that allows you to associate album art with title with band with it. The thing that really makes a concept album a ‘concept album’ is that it creates new spaces in aural experience, often at the cost of a few fans that got too comfortable too quickly.

So that’s what the king of indie underground, Kidofdoom, has in store for you with their next one. And it’s funny, but they’ve been bleeding the secret out for a while. There’s a common thread in a live show of theirs (and I’m not talking about the lights and visuals) that some call repetition. What it seems to be, instead, is an emerging sonic narrative that none - bar the band - have really figured out.

They’re clever like that. They redefine the live experience and activate the subconscious. You never know when their set is finished, or their song, and I sure hope they’ve taken live recordings of misplaced clapping and encores that come too early. ‘Celestial pop’ is a myopic description these kids are doomed to live down, and redefine, in time. Why? Coz they like to fly with their feet on the ground. (Richard told me at the bar, it’s the lights he loves best.)

More soon.

why New Holland deserve their superiority complex

New Holland. They’re an odd mix of humble-bumble and self conscious disdain, they’re a pop rock party band with some of the more crass and sassy one-liners (‘call me callous call me something that you’re not/ spread your legs wide so I can get one last shot’) and they’re the band whose 2008 album became part of beached, bleached teens’ seaside summer holiday soundtrack (after Kings Of Leon, of course. We really killed that one). They’re also incredibly accessible, almost overtly so. Conclusion: besides being half-naked, nice to dance to and nubile, they’re nothing new. Né? Maybe not. Maybe my take is stale, and it’s time to spring clean it. It’s true I was there singing and dancing along to every song last summer, but I didn’t listen to it back home when the vodka wore off and reality set in.

The reality is that they’re going to be big. This was never in question, not, at least, in my mind. While I have a special affection for music that charms the masses (except that chick whose milkshake brings all the ploys to the lard), i also understand the advantages of patience. Getting big sometimes takes as much time as getting thin (if there aren’t hearts involved and you don’t have the latest eating disorder). Having more hair and less angst in their suburban brilliance, New Holland were obliged to stand in line scratching their VIP pass till aKING aggregated awesome into something a little more average and became a national commodity. Now that the Dutch courage has run out, the deed is said and sung, there’s space at the top of the pop rock playpen for more mass musical magic. Bigger. Newer. Samer. Especially if you judge their forthcoming album by their new single. Should you, though? It’s a tot rock track, yes - catchy, cool and clean, and they know it. It was a premeditated release, they mean business. There are promises that the rest of their material is magic, but not so mainstream. Perhaps we hang on to perceptions until we have proof otherwise. That’s probably wise. And whether or not the masses will negate management claims, here’s why dissenters of decent mainstream music shouldn’t be offended by whatever they bring out next:

Number one. New Holland is reliable for all the right reasons. They have an anomaly for a lead lad, recluse, autistic, artistic – choose your adjective, choose your addiction. They have catchy tracks that won’t sit back and let you settle down. Their lyrics are a buggered mix of self-involved Dear Diary entries and dark, fiery sentries at the doors of perception (you can roll your eyes and stare at the same time, basically).

Number two. They know where their strengths lie (or maybe they just don’t know any different) Despite GHD’s protests, New Holland is its vocals – soft and easy and everyday, almost androgynous, but not camp enough to get the backs of the uBoere up. And when it’s time to make a point, they’re powerful - soaring, sliding, sexy, skinny. Ja. We like. We and many many many many others. Which brings us back to our bugbear. Hold out a bit, though – third time lucky:

Number three. While there’s nothing holy about whacking out well worn pop rock formulae, there’s nothing evil about simple, single-note melodies, either. Especially if they hit you where it hurts. We forget this, that when Mattie lays the manyfingered ebony and ivory on us, we call it art rock, we swoon and Muse, and forget that he’s mostly just practising his scales at our expense (or pleasure). Simple or knotty, it’s all in the mix.

Which is what makes New Holland’s trademark tameness so wickedly workable. You know there’s more to them; somehow, you just don’t know when they’re going to grow into it. And that’s ok, because the masses have to grow into it as well. And to the mainstream conscious’s credit, most people really only have one thought and one emotion at a time. And sometimes they mix them. Which is what New Holland does to decent effect.

But they’re also unreliable for all the right reasons. Which is what makes the waiting so exciting. Take, for example, their new key treatment. According to the new synth effect, we’ve gone fast forward retro - decorative, delightful, and dated. It makes Kidofdoom look darker and more dangerous, if that’s possible. And if forefinger synth detail is growth, then New Holland has grown. But maybe more accurately, they’ve grown closer to themselves, which has integrity that no ego-esque independent act can easily criticise because whether you’re the girl next door or Joe Soap on a jol, easy will always sell.

New Holland is on their way to the top forty. You know what that means. They’re never coming back. It’s up to you whether that matters, whether they’ve got something for you to believe in. Either way, they’ve got nothing to prove.

clever hunting

The wwworld of the internet might have a Wealth of Wonderful Whatsgoing on in the entertainment sector, but a lot of it is a lot of tripe. User-based web 2.0 might flaunt the gauntlet in the face of the average googler by letting them have their say, but it has little power over human error and/or misrepresentation that can result from that, and nobody can be held responsible, either. (which explains gatherings of passive-aggresive, social degenerates spending their evenings 'editing' wikipedia articles).

This is especially true for live, original music events. Gig details are subject to change at the last minute, event info can be mistakenly duplicated and triplicated in error (and fornicated with by fans), and then there are the odd (both senses), self-titled 'hackers' who like to play practical jokes on the public and a struggling music industry by posting events that don't even exist. (you are Satan's porn. and nobody is wwwatching).

So check event postings for credibility if you don't want to waste your time. Word of mouth still has a lot of say - if it's a popular band, chances are you'd have heard about it from someone by now. If you're getting details off a social network (like the Face), make sure the event is posted by someone in the know - a PR representative, a venue manager, a band member, a (happy) girlfriend.. erm.. or boyfriend; or somebody likely to have invested effort and money in the initiative (that's usually a more reliable point of reference; few can afford a wasted buck or a disappointed fan.) Basically, you want the lowdown from somebody likely to tell the TRUTH about what's going down in your town.

And know thy city. Monday evening is a highly unlikely slot for übercool acts like Kidofdoom and Humanizer to play anywhere. Why? Well, most people are in front of the TV still recovering from Friday night in the City Of Sin...

ramfest!

wordup, melodic wanderers

As my top 4 South African bands are playing at RAMfest2008, i've decided to learn all their lyrics by the end of the month so i can sing along to every song. Then of course, i realised that one of them is an instrumental band, but i think i'll be so trashed and sun kissed and blissed out and full of good music and good vibes that i'll sing along anyway!

and so will you! look at this line up! >>>

Friday 29 Feb - MAIN STAGE-
......................................

..............................

19:30 Fuzigish (JHB)
20:30 A King (CT) ( CD Launch)
21:30 Van Coke Kartel (CT)
22:30 Taxi Violence (CT)
23:30 White Buzz (UK)

00:30 Foto Na Dans (CT)
01:30 Hog Hoggidy Hog (CT)

........................................
Tented Stage -Friday 29 Feb
........................................
19:00 Antipathy (CT)
20:00 Decimation Age (CT)
21:00 Contrast The Water(DBN)
22:00 dj
00:00 dj
02:00 Enough Weapons (CT)

.....................................................................
Saturday 01 March - MAINSTAGE
.....................................................................
10:00 Yossarian (CT)
11:00 Failing Forward (CT)
12:00 Ashtray Electric(CT)
13:00 Knave (JHB)
14:00 Torment (JHB)
15:00 Rhutz (JHB)
16:00 Day Turns Night (CT)
17:00 Pestroy (JHB)
18:00 Chromium (JHB)
19:00 Agro (JHB)
20:00 Lark (CT)
21:00 Battery9 (JHB)
22:00 K.O.B.U.S!(CT)
23:00 Mind Assault (CT)
00:00 Gadabout(JHB)
..........................................
Tented Stage - Saturday 01 March
..........................................
18:00 South African Air Guitar Championships Finals
22:00 7th Son (CT)
23:00 The Spindle Sect (CT)
00:00 kidofdoom (JHB)
01:00 Unit-R (CT)

DON'TEXPECTTOCOMEHOMERESTED

www.ramfest.co.za